Common cognitive distortions and how to fix them

Examples of Common Cognitive Distortions

Our thoughts shape how we see ourselves, others, and the world. But sometimes, our minds play tricks on us through cognitive distortions—patterns of thinking that are inaccurate, unhelpful, or overly negative. These distortions can fuel stress, anxiety, and depression, but the good news is they can be identified and challenged.

Cognitive distortions and how to fix them:

1. All-or-Nothing Thinking: Also called “black-and-white” thinking, this distortion makes us see situations in extremes: success or failure, perfect or worthless. For example, you might think, “If I don’t do this perfectly, I’m a failure.”

Fix: Look for the gray areas. Remind yourself that progress and effort matter. Instead of labeling yourself as a failure, acknowledge what you did accomplish and where there’s room to grow.

Countering All or Nothing Thinking

2. Overgeneralization: This happens when you take one negative experience and assume it will always repeat. For example, “I messed up this presentation, so I’ll never be good at public speaking.”

Fix: Challenge the word “always” or “never.” Ask yourself: Is this really true every time? Gather evidence of times when things went well to balance your perspective.

3. Mental Filtering: This distortion focuses only on the negative parts of a situation, ignoring the positive. For instance, you receive ten compliments but dwell on one piece of criticism.

Fix: Practice balanced thinking by listing positives alongside negatives. Gratitude journaling is also effective for training your mind to notice what went well.

4. Catastrophizing: Here, you expect the worst-case scenario, even if it’s unlikely. For example, “If I make a mistake, I’ll lose my job and never find another one.”

Fix: Ask yourself, What’s the most realistic outcome? Break the fear down into steps—what would actually happen, and how could you handle it? This helps shrink overwhelming fears into manageable challenges.

How to Stop Catastrophic Thinking

5. Personalization: This is when you take responsibility for things outside your control. For example, “My friend is upset—it must be my fault.”

Fix: Remind yourself that many factors influence other people’s emotions. Ask: What evidence shows this is truly about me? Practicing self-compassion can reduce the urge to blame yourself.

An Example of Personalization

6. Should Statements: This distortion involves rigid rules for yourself or others: “I should always be strong,” or “People should never let me down.” These expectations often create guilt, resentment, or disappointment.

Fix: Replace “should” with more flexible language, such as “I’d prefer” or “It would be helpful if.” This opens space for compassion and adaptability.

7. Mind Reading: Here, you assume you know what others are thinking—usually something negative. For example, “They must think I’m incompetent.”

Fix: Remind yourself you can’t read minds. If appropriate, ask directly for feedback instead of assuming.

How to Stop Mind Reading

Final Thoughts on common cognitive distortions and how to fix them:

Cognitive distortions are a part of being human. The key is not to eliminate them but to notice, question, and reframe them. By practicing more balanced thinking, you build resilience, reduce stress, and create a healthier outlook on life.

Let me know your thoughts in the comments! Do you need to work on any of the ones listed above?

Best in Health,

Coach Nai